craig oldham alternate cv
1985
Born in Barnsley, South Yorkshire. Strike baby. Unplanned.
1989
Encouraged to explore creative side by class 1 teacher Mrs. Redfearn after making a Father Christmas model out of cotton wool and painted toilet rolls.
1995
Picked for the school football team. Many years of planning my ascent into professional football (future note: dream never realised).
1998
Informed that graphic design isn’t technical drawing, picked graphics as an option, tore a tendon in my ankle and was on crutches for a brief stint (in that order.)
2001
Thought I could get into graphic design without an art qualification (had trouble with shading). Told I need an art qualification to get on the course I wanted. Lost in the school cup final: but scored a penalty (not bad for a defender).
Attends Barnsley college. Discovers the affects of alcohol.
2003
Attends Falmouth College of Arts. Get more drunk, homesick and worries that its all been a terrible mistake.
2005
First placement. Shits himself. Becomes increasingly tired of making an impression.
Visits New York. Falls in Love. Decides on wanting to work in America at some point. Becomes the muse to a busking clown.
Has a good idea. Gets told the idea has been done before.
Renounces ideas and flirts with style. Reverts to ideas when style comes to nothing.
2006
Sends out placement letters. Gets replies. Travels to loads of interviews and tries to sort placements. Gets very little sleep.
Works hard on degree show. Panics big time. Gets a first. Panics less. Realises education is finished. Panics big time.
Leaves College.
Launches Design Career.
Conned The Chase into offering him a job. Takes it and posts business card to all his unemployed friends.
2007
Currant Lee lucking threw his web sight too cheque four spelling miss steaks (as the spell chequer does knot always get them write).
And re-thinking everything and anything.